“Petrified, but privileged,” Qualifying as a midwife in 2020- experiences of QUB Direct entry (DE) students

The transition from student midwife to newly qualified midwife is a transition which is recognised as stressful (Park et al, 2020) but qualifying as a midwife in 2020 with a global pandemic in the mix, the emotional roller coaster just intensified. Fear, anxiety and stress during this past year have been at the forefront of emotions felt by students qualifying in 2020. The Direct entry Midwifery programme has ran in QUB for 15 years, with most students undertaking the programme having an awareness of the three year course and its requirements, 50% of time in University and 50% in clinical practice, but for the midwifery students of 2020 necessary changes were made to the programme which involved entering the maternity workforce 6 months earlier than anticipated. Feelings were mixed about the change in the programme. Fear about the quick transition into practice and how it will affect the NQM, “Will I be any less of a midwife? “Will I make a mistake or miss something,”. Anxiety around decisions about opting in or out of their midwifery programme out “Am I doing the right thing?,” “ What if I bring the virus back to my family,” and stress at having to work extra hours due to shortages caused by Covid and isolation guidance “I don’t know if I can do another shift like yesterday,”. However, alongside these negative feelings experienced by the midwifery students qualifying in 2020, students continued to feel great privilege in their chosen vocation being able to continue to provide care to women in families in these unprecedented times and be part of the joy of the journey of birth and parenthood. Being financially rewarded as a final year midwifery student during the pandemic has been especially welcomed by the midwifery students of 2020, and feeling valued as an integral part of the midwifery team at becoming paid member of the maternity workface “It is great that the hard work of students is being recognised, especially in such unknown times,”